A Field Guide for Managers: Fostering Meaningful Connections at Work

After 40 years of teaching at the University of Virginia's Darden School of Business, Mark E. Haskins has distilled his vast experience into a new book, “What If You Tried This At Work: A Field Guide of Possibilities for Becoming an Invaluable Manager”. The book challenges conventional management approaches, advocating for a re-balancing between a transactional and a relational mindset.

Drawing from his extensive work in executive education, Haskins presents a management style that emphasizes human connections, which is increasingly critical in today’s fast-paced business world. As remote work becomes more prevalent, fostering meaningful relationships in a virtual environment has become both a challenge and a distinguishing opportunity for managers.

The book’s release is especially timely. A recent survey by Nectar found that nearly 70% of employees would be happier if they had deeper connections with work colleagues, highlighting the importance of relational management and fostering employee wellbeing and engagement.

Ideas to Action sat down with Haskins, Landmark Communications Professor Emeritus of Business Administration at UVA Darden, to discuss key insights from his book. Below are edited excerpts from the conversation:

Q: What prompted you to write this book?

A: The book was born of a work-related realization and a personal awakening. The result was a gradual change from an overemphasis on what I began to call a transactional mindset — focused mostly on meeting deadlines and completing tasks — to more of a relational mindset —Who do I get to spend time with today and learn from and enjoy?

Everybody's got an interesting story. I became aware of that when I slowed down and took the time to get to know the people I was most closely working with. It was a shift from focusing solely on getting things done and moving to the next To Do, to getting to know people, understand some of their life’s journey, and helping them get to know me.

Q: Why is this relational approach so crucial in today's fast-paced business environment?

A: There are two main reasons. First, the people you work with are likely those you’ll encounter time and again. Investing in relationships builds trust, familiarity and reliability. We learn more about their expertise, strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, and their aspirations, which adds to our repertoire of multi-faceted, talented people we can draw upon and partner with.

Second, life is really about people, not tasks. Getting to know people and having ongoing relationships with them is an enriching aspect of life. This doesn't have to be relegated to our private lives but can also be true in our professional life. The tasks will get done and probably even done better.

Q: Who is the target audience?

A: The book is written for experienced managers who would benefit from reminders about core truths that may have gotten lost along the way or for those whose managerial thinking and approach would benefit from revitalization. It's also for managers in a transitional phase of their career — a reminder to be mindful of the relational aspect in any role they are going to, whether it’s finance or engineering, domestically or internationally, temporary or long term. Additionally, it’s for accelerating the managerial lessons that would be beneficial to aspiring managers. The book contains many relational management lessons I wished I had embraced earlier in my career.

Q: Tell us about the structure of the book and how readers are meant to engage with it.

A: The book is set up as a journal. After each of the 36 management vignettes, there are questions that readers are encouraged to work through. The questions are organized around a reflect/remember, identify an idea, share with a trusted colleague, and execute/evaluate framework. This journal aspect of the book makes it a living, breathing, dynamic document that can be revisited, fine-tuned and pursued with one or more colleagues who are also going through the same developmental process or who just want to help you in yours.

At the end of the book, there is also an unconventional, bonus element. As someone who enjoys do-it-yourself home projects, I've noticed many parallels between DIY work and management. Over the years, I've gained enhanced management insights from my DIY projects. To illustrate those parallels, I've included 36 DIY home improvement vignettes, each corresponding to one of the 36 management vignettes. While it's a noncritical and small section of the book, it is intended to entertain and encourage readers to explore the connections between their professional work (vocation) and personal interests (avocation) — the parallels may be surprising and enjoyable to identify.

Q: The book contains 36 stories from your 40 years of classroom interactions. Is there one that particularly resonates with you?

A: A particular favorite is the one I end with, called “Play an ACE as often as you can.” It’s inspired by a Navy change of command ceremony I attended. I saw how the outgoing commander and the incoming commander affirmed their colleagues, celebrated their collective accomplishments and encouraged those they were leaving behind. This “affirm, celebrate and encourage (ACE)” approach is something I’ve tried to incorporate in my interactions, finding moments to affirm contributions, celebrate joint efforts and outcomes, and encourage others in their work.

Q: Are there any other concepts from your book that you feel contain universal truths or are particularly relevant?

A: There are three that come to mind. One is “Regularly perform an assumptions audit.” It is often said that we need to challenge our assumptions. I describe a process for how to do an audit of your assumptions to highlight which ones to keep, drop or modify.

Another is “Subject your key performance indicators (KPIs) to a behavioral audit.” I invite readers to deconstruct the key performance metrics they and their direct reports are subject to. It is then important to ask what behaviors do each of those component parts incent? Are those the behaviors the organization really wants? If not, what mitigating controls or policies might need to be put in place? I'm a big believer that performance measures incentivize behaviors, and as managers we need to ascertain the most likely incented behaviors galvanized by the contemplated KPIs before we actually see those behaviors in our rearview mirror.

The third was from a speaker in an executive program: “Never too old to be wrong or too young to be right.” It's a reminder, with an example or two, that senior people don't have a corner on all the good ideas, and we need to be open to the merits of the ideas the youngest members of our team bring to the table.

Q: What are some of the common obstacles for managers trying to shift to a more relational approach?

A: There are three main obstacles. First is time, which is subject to more and more demands.  We need to make our own management development a priority.

Second, the virtual business world is not as conducive to building rich relationships, requiring intentional effort to compensate for less face-to-face interaction.

Third, KPIs often don't measure the relational aspects of one’s work. For example, I think we would agree that trust-building and a willingness to help are worthy ingredients of business management, but don’t lend themself to measurements that can then be easily factored into incentive compensation calculations and so may not get the emphasis warranted.

Q: For managers interested in exploring relational management, where should they start?

A: We are all a product of a unique set of life experiences. I encourage managers to reflect on the most satisfying moments in their life, not just in business. Think about times when you were coming home with a bounce in your step and eager to return to work. Chances are, these moments involved relationships and connections with people, where the synergy of working together produced results greater than what you could have achieved individually. Start by remembering and analyzing these positive experiences and they just might be replicable today and tomorrow.

“What If You Tried This At Work: A Field Guide of Possibilities for Becoming an Invaluable Manager”, published Sept. 24, 2024,  is available in paperback, hardback and Kindle formats.